Between The Night And Day
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Originally conceived as a sequel to past lyrics, Between The Night And Day became much more in the end.
With the pandemic in full swing, I had a lot of time on my hands. Writing lyrics for Diurnal, which was supposed to be my next grouping, it led to revisiting lots of old stuff as well. I soon went down a rabbit hole and reading large chunks of past lyrics inspired this website in January 2021.
Earlier than that however, it also sparked a new idea. In fall 2020, Our Lady Peace (opens in new tab) announced that they had recorded a sequel to their 2001 album Spiritual Machines (opens in new tab.) Having read so much from my past, I started wondering what that might look like for one of my own groups of lyrics. Since I’d initially written four of them in 2001, several 20th anniversaries were coming up and that got my gears turning even more.
Eventually I chose Sleepwalking for a few reasons. it had the most interesting ground to revisit, was the first thing I’d released in 2001 and also fit the themes I was currently exploring. If these new lyrics were going to slide between Nocturnal and Diurnal, it couldn’t feel forced or jarring. I still wanted there to be a flow so that the connective tissue leading from the last grouping to the next wasn’t severed.
Although the concept seemed straight forward, it changed a few times along the way. Writing direct continuations of stories from Sleepwalking, I eventually realized that it wouldn’t work for the entire group of lyrics. Still, while continuing the process, I started listening to music that originally influenced that grouping. This included acts like Matthew Good Band, Our Lady Peace, Radiohead, Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters and Powderfinger (all links open in new tabs.) It brought me back to a writing style from those days and became a huge inspiration.
From there, I started exploring more varied topics about my past and some rooted in the present. It was around then that I abandoned the idea of calling the grouping SW2 as well. Coming from a lyric in Man Of Action (opens in new tab,) one of my favourite Matthew Good Band songs, Between The Night And Day soon took its place. given the group titles surrounding this one, along with it being part of the music that inspired these lyrics, it just made sense.
Soon after however, something happened that altered how I approached these lyrics again.
In February, Matthew Good was accused of being a serial abuser (both links open in new tabs) by his ex-girlfriend. Further allegations included grooming, mental and emotional abuse/manipulation and sexual coercion. It also led to a chain reaction of events: He was immediately dropped from his record label, the Canadian Mental Health Association cut ties and several women came forward with accounts of alleged mistreatment or sexually driven interactions.
In light of what allegedly occurred, I questioned continuing with these lyrics. Ultimately the decision was made to stick with them though. I was focused on a specific time in my own life and what influenced that. To me, omitting MGB and Matthew Good himself would’ve been dishonest. I’m not worshipping the man behind the art, I’m acknowledging the art’s influence on me. Music that he and his bandmates created did help me form my own lyrical language and I think that’s important to convey. Maybe it’s a cop out, but that’s my reasoning behind it anyway.
Oddly enough, Keeping Matt Good’s influence intact for this project made it a bit cathartic. I’ve still got some complicated feelings about the accusations in relation to my fandom (and I’ll write about that in the future.) Still, I was able to sort out a lot of feelings by writing this. It also added some unintentional subtext to things that were written before any public accusations were made.
Following that, it looked as if everything was finished in July or August. When something like this appears to be done, I’ll let it sit for a few weeks and come back to it. In this case though, the lyrics were very much not ready when I did. I ended up cutting four things, writing two new ones, reworking one really old thing and bringing something back that didn’t fit before. It was a marathon that ended in October when I shuffled around the way it flowed too.
So with that out of the way, this December 3 release is what I’ve been working on since fall 2020. Enjoy!
Lyrics Content
01. Can’t Escape
04. Isolated
05. Level 12 Elf
06. Kayla Ann
08. Contagious
09. Corner Streets
10. Thick As Thieves
11. Phoenix Rising
12. Before The Past
13. Sunset
Can’t Escape
From complicated reasons
We’re all heroes to ourselves
Though I’m not sure I can save you
When you’re crying out for help
In looking to explain this
False convictions for the cause
It began as harmless static
Only white noise to turn off
No one could’ve seen ahead at all
No one could’ve seen ahead at all
Now gathered for a minute
Looking back on where we’ve been
I can’t claim to be your conscience
When you’re standing on the ledge
Although this sounds alarming
As it plays inside your brain
Pretty soon you’ll find an answer
That can cure you all the same
As these thoughts start to rewind
Is there something on your mind?
It’s not that hard to find if you keep searching
We’ve been struggling with the past
But it wasn’t meant to last
Our memories move so fast when they’re reversing
Kept in every truth we can’t escape
Victims of the choices in our wake
Since no one heard it coming
Lost through frequencies withdrawn
All so mired in false assertions
Left to sort out what went wrong
No one could’ve seen ahead at all
No one could’ve seen ahead at all
As these thoughts start to rewind
Is there something on your mind?
It’s not that hard to find if you keep searching
We’ve been struggling with the past
But it wasn’t meant to last
Our memories move so fast when they’re reversing
Kept in every truth we can’t escape
Victims of the choices in our wake
Kept in every truth we can’t escape
Lurking in the time that slides away
Echoes From The Past
With nothing else but false intent
There’s still no end to what’s in sight
You couldn’t cheat these future plans
As every chance collapsed in time
Lost In words you’ve always feared
Between your ears to disobey
Some echoes from the past returned
Informed to yearn for yesterday
Gas masks on, we run outside
There’s nowhere left for us to hide
While everybody speaks their minds to play them back again
Stretching out to fill the space
Beyond regret for what’s embraced
Until you get a little taste, it’s hard to understand
In planning for the noise that comes
Your senses numb to what’s transpired
Obsessed with thoughts evading you
Now cutting through the rising fire
Storming down these empty halls
From curtain calls you’ll disavow
Those razor wires that still protrude
They’ve all confused their purpose now
Gas masks on, we run outside
There’s nowhere left for us to hide
While everybody speaks their minds to play them back again
Stretching out to fill the space
Beyond regret for what’s embraced
Until you get a little taste, it’s hard to understand
Our echoes from the past return, ignored with any true concern
Recounting what we chose to burn and shed along the way
Our echoes from the past return, with lessons that we’ll never learn
Despite the things you might have heard, there’s nothing else to say
Gas masks on, we run outside
There’s nowhere left for us to hide
While everybody speaks their minds to play them back again
Stretching out to fill the space
Beyond regret for what’s embraced
Until you get a little taste, it’s hard to understand
Our echoes from the past, echoes from the past
Echoes from the past again
Our echoes from the past, echoes from the past
Echoes from the past again
Living To Pretend
Didn’t travel west to Hollywood
She never went to Montreal
I heard she’s living in Toronto
Although she won’t return my calls
Some people thought she was a stripper
While others questioned her intent
I’d like to think that we connected
She always claimed to be a friend
Now I’m waiting for the burnout
We swore to never fade away
She’s still the girl who lives combustible
As every indecision strays
I know her boyfriend was an asshole
But there’s a story in between
It’s such a shame I’ll never hear it
Because this fiction sounds obscene
How many lines can I keep blurring
Before they figure out the truth?
I’ve got her number in my yearbook
Another sign of wasted youth
Now I’m waiting for the burnout
We swore to never fade away
She’s still the girl who haunts my memories
As every indecision strays
Is there something left to find? Is there something left to say?
Is there something we can try to absolve us of our shame?
Come on, let’s go downtown
We can turn this thing around
In these neon lights we’ll drown
Holding tightly to what’s left
I know you’ve been misled
But we’ll sleep when we’re all dead
Made to linger in our heads
Always living to pretend
Isolated
Everybody’s been isolated
Can’t conquer this divide
Gonna be a long fucking winter
No one’s going outside
Hard to fathom what it must be like
We’ll all find out in time
Everybody still feels so lonely
Pulled apart and confined
It plays out like a dream
But it’s harder than it seemed in my mind
Peering back from cynical glances
As we’ve all hunkered down
Pretty sure every night seems longer
No one’s coming around
can’t imagine what this must be like
Never able to heal
I’d guess but it isn’t so easy
When so much is concealed
It plays out like a dream
But it’s not quite what it seems when revealed
It plays out like a dream
But the truth is that it seems too surreal
Level 12 Elf
Maybe in this last year
I’ve come to learn some spells
I think I’ve crossed a fine line
But still it’s hard to tell
Straining now to mention
I’m lost for what to say
Reborn in my depression
I don’t care much these days
Looks like it’s December again
She’s been asking where I’ve been
Within these months to find some help
I’m now an elf at level twelve
Smitten by our past fears
We’ve tried to face them down
In turn to find some reason
While spread out on the ground
Pressed against the window
Repulsed by what’s outside
A victim of my conscience
With no place left to hide
Looks like it’s December again
She’s been asking where I’ve been
Within these months to find some help
I’m now an elf at level twelve
In this light
Of each new year’s night
A star will burn
So you can then discern
If what I do is wrong or right
Looks like it’s December again
She’s been asking where I’ve been
Within these months to find some help
I’m now an elf at level twelve
But I’ve been searching for myself
I’ve been searching for myself
I’ve been searching for myself
I’m always searching for myself
Kayla Ann
Oh Kayla Ann
She came and went
I wish that I’d resisted
Now I count my days in consequence
Well Kayla Ann
It starts so slow
A symbol of my hubris
Retreating fast to let me know
Nothing worth having can come without pain
Ashes to ashes, we’ll walk through the flames
Dying to live until it drives us insane
So Kayla Ann
She clipped my wings
Although I can’t go back there
For one second I’d give anything
Hey Kayla Ann
I’ve spent my wish
While searching for connection
Our indiscretions seem so fixed
Nothing worth having can come without pain
Ashes to ashes, we’ll walk through the flames
Dying to live until it drives us insane
Built me an ice box, with no way to steer
Awake from this coma, been sleeping for years
Kept cryogenic, I’m still in arrears
Stranger than fiction, still frozen in time
We blame this nostalgia, a flaw in design
Begging for reason, they’re all so unkind
It’s only in our minds, it’s only in our minds
It’s only in our minds…
Chasing Down The Answers
Caught in freedoms once enslaved
While kept estranged from solemn songs
With flowers placed upon each grave
Dug up to showcase what went wrong
Suffocate this rising tide
Past lines we once thought bullet proof
Reactions that would blow your mind
Were nothing more than misconstrued
So you know we’re always waiting for
Some evidence to come
Still chasing down the answers but
Our legs don’t seem to run
If you go to take a picture, please
Don’t pretend it’s black and white
Redacted truths that go unseen
Down the drain and out of sight
Ego trumps so many things
Our ink stains racing through the dark
Like coal transformed for diamond rings
Designed with pathways made of sparks
Shallow breaths contort such words
In signs we’ve heard to flip this switch
Convictions kept but then returned
Before those voices scattered quick
So you know we’re always waiting for
Some evidence to come
Still chasing down the answers but
Our legs don’t seem to run
If you go to take a picture, please
Don’t pretend it’s black and white
Redacted truths that go unseen
Down the drain and out of sight
Currently our currencies
They’re stretched out in defense
While everywhere the faithful stare
Convince it makes no sense
Spoken by the chosen few
Some pieces to reclaim
We’ve caused such harm with false alarms
But now that’s not the case
Contagious
On the other side of town
Retracing cracks in the pavement
Where did you find yourself?
That’s what you get for always behavin’
We know it’s nothing new
Don’t need to be blind to see it
No one thinks it through
Praying and praying and praying and praying
I lost my head on a Saturday night
In a smoke filled room with two rose coloured eyes
Keep it to yourself if you wanna survive
It’s contagious, so contagious…
On a dirty country road
Never took the time to pave it
Where did you lose your way?
That’s what you get when you’re stuck misbehavin’
It sure ain’t no surprise
Don’t need to be deaf to hear it
Spread this new disguise
Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting
You lost your head on a Saturday night
In a smoked filled room with two rose coloured eyes
Keep it to yourself if you wanna survive
It’s contagious, so contagious…
From these headlights in the darkness
We could not see straight ahead
Cast in shadows made invincible
Cutting through the noise instead
We cut through the noise instead
I lost my head on a Saturday night
In a smoke filled room with two rose coloured eyes
Keep it to yourself if you wanna survive
It’s contagious…
We lost our heads on a Saturday night
In a smoke filled room with two rose coloured eyes
Keep it to yourself if you wanna survive
It’s contagious, so contagious
Contagious, so contagious
Corner Streets
Come save me, stop what you’re doing
I’ve got some stray thoughts, now they’re intruding
They keep me tied up, it’s only pure luck
You’ve stuck around
Don’t hate me, I know you want to
It’s been a long ride, but I once loved you
This wasn’t simple, still nothing is though
From what I’ve found
On corner streets
Where we would meet
To shut it down
So lately, I’ve still been thinking
We had a good run, our windows shrinking
Though pathways split up, it’s only dumb luck
That kept us bound
On corner streets
Where we would meet
To shut it down
On corner streets
World at your feet
Still spinning round
Let’s shut it down, shut it down
Shut it down, shut it down
Thick As Thieves
Dirty jokes for stupid folks
We’ve been here once before
I know it’s crass, still nothing lasts
These facts can’t be ignored
Dressed in scars and broken parts
Exposures kept too long
Our naked truths all get confused
But stop me if I’m wrong
When we were thick as thieves
It was easy to receive
When we were thick as thieves
Thick as thieves, thick as thieves
Silent thoughts once tied in knots
On fingertips they sit
Descriptive words for what’s occurred
So no one can forget
Swept away as harmless prey
Now watch the past repeat
Responding quick, I’m getting sick
It’s only make believe
When we were thick as thieves
It was easy to receive
When we were thick as thieves
Thick as thieves, thick as thieves
So coming out in morse code
It couldn’t be maintained
Abandoned by the wayside
From evolution’s strain
In widening the distance
This desperation built
I think it’s time to leave now
Because temptation always kills
I think it’s time we leave now
Because temptation always kills
Phoenix Rising
Stars out in the open skies
Chasing criminals
Passing through, eyes blurry
Gone subliminal
Moving like we’re zombies
Lost on county roads
Coming down, towers crumbling
Watched it all explode
But what else can I say?
Now what else should I do?
I can always find these memories leading back to you
Spending time in hospitals
Put my life on hold
Dropping off, some cutouts
It still takes a toll
Parting like we’re strangers
Never once to speak
Moving on, ever changing
Kept in symmetry
But what else can I say?
Now what else should I do?
I can always find these memories leading back to you
Playing through these conversations
Now they’re scrambled in my head
I can see you in the doorway
With a look I can’t forget
Though this flame was always burning
Dragged out in your Sunday best
No one knows how much I loved you
My name scratched out nonetheless
You would rise up like a phoenix
Always Rise up like a phoenix
Yeah you’d rise up like a phoenix
I’d watch as you flew on the wind
You’d still rise up like a phoenix
Always Rise up like a phoenix
You would rise up like a phoenix
Again and again and again and again and again
Before The Past
We had a party down the street
Our future wide open, it was all at our feet
With background players in the room
In time we all left though not a moment too soon
Now I’m a lonely man
It’s so strange to keep thinking of the shit that I said
When all the hallways are empty again
All the hallways are empty again…
Come on let’s tune this static out
We’ll face our old selves down
Before the past can make a sound
There was a party up the block
Our memories impaired by every turn of the clock
From background players that we cast
Our time running out until it all came to pass
Now I’m a weathered man
It’s so strange to keep thinking of the lives that we led
But all the bodies get piled up again
All the bodies get piled up again
Come on let’s tune this static out
We’ll face our old selves down
Before the past can make a sound
In pictures all painted by senses and phrases
Relived and imperfectly kept while they’re taken
Filling in holes with the patchworks we shoulder
These lines slowly fade as we start growing older again
Come on let’s tune this static out
We’ll face our old selves down
Before the past can make a sound
Come on let’s tune this static out
We’ll face our old selves down
Before the past can make a sound
Before the past can make a sound
Sunset
I’m wide awake
It’s hard to sleep at night
When daylight breaks
It lifts these starry skies
I’ll twist and turn
There’s nothing left to do
In time we’ll burn
Come back with different views
I’ve watched the sun go down
I’ve watched the sun go down
After it starts
We’ll never drift astray
With beating hearts
Transmitting sonar waves
No letting go
Our lives a tapestry
So hold me close
I need you hear with me
I’ve watched the sun go down
I’ve watched the sun go down
I’ve watched the sun go down
I’ve watched the sunset…
I once could see
Went blind and then moved on
Now I believe
Nobody’s ever gone
We all lose sight
Some drown inside the pain
You saved my life
And I owe you everything
I owe you everything
I owe you everything