Diurnal
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Finishing a trilogy that took four years to write, Diurnal finally completes the journey from dusk to dawn.
After working on something for so long, details can get sketchy. Overcoming several obstacles along the way, including the creation and release of an entirely different project, these lyrics left me stretched to the limit. Even so, with the help of a friend, I also managed to step outside my comfort zone. It all resulted in a conclusion to the night and day saga (there’s not really an official name for it) that I take great pride in.
Starting before Nocturnal was finished, I wrote Remember in the spring or summer of 2018. Afterwards, it spawned the idea of writing a companion piece to that lyrical grouping. I’m not really sure what steps came next, but a lot of writing was spread out over the next year. Sinking Feelings, Communication Breaks and Crossing The Valley were all in the mix early on.
As with my last project, I also looked back at old lyrics that didn’t make the cut for other groupings. Upon its original conception, Diurnal was supposed to be more about the past. Because of my initial idea though, many old lyrics were resurrected including Sunlight Flickers, Heart In Your Hands, Last Remains and Laneways. Another seven pieces were abandoned when the project was taken into a different direction.
As the Covid-19 pandemic started in March 2020, I was a few things short for Diurnal. With so much changing almost overnight though, I soon felt like the lyrics needed to go in a different direction. While Nocturnal approached subjects in a more general sense, it was always the plan for this group to be more introspective and direct. Upon making the decision to zero in on the present, my original concept was instead used on Between The Night And Day.
Still, I didn’t abandon the past altogether. The previous group looks back from the present and sometimes compares both time periods. With Diurnal, it’s very much focused on where the past took me instead. It’s a small difference that allowed me to pick apart different subjects and vantage points with each set of lyrics.
As part of this new focus, Only In Our Minds and It Won’t Always Be This Way came after our first lockdown. No Time To React was written a while later and Feral was conceived in December 2021: The latter is a result of reaching rock bottom during the holidays. (Fun fact: Feral was also created less than three weeks after my previous lyrical grouping was released.)
Letting things sit for awhile, I then did something I’ve never done before. Showing some friends the lyrics in February, I asked for their opinions/suggestions. This resulted in several months of editing with my friend Carol, who gave me an outside perspective I’d never solicited before. It’s a major reason why Diurnal turned out so well and I owe her a huge debt of gratitude. (Thanks Carol, you rock!)
We finally wrapped things up in April and that’s what you’ll read below. In terms of thematic elements, I’d say the group as a whole covers communication, social anxiety, revisiting past mistakes and challenging perspectives. There’s also the exploration of isolation and depression — both things that can’t really be ignored post-pandemic.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the end result. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading!
Lyrics Content
04. No Time To React
05. Remember
07. Sinking Feelings
09. Feral
10. Last Remains
11. It Won’t Always Be This Way
12. Laneways
Sunlight Flickers
I’ve seen you cry on starlit nights
Beneath red fireworks set alight
Burning neon, streaking bright
It’s time to dry your eyes
Returning memories kept enslaved
Exposing dreams our lives betrayed
Morning holds no hiding place
For monsters not confined
It’s always on my mind
With what gets pushed aside
From trampolines and swimming pools
Some dirty thoughts in quiet rooms
All the things we couldn’t do
When nothing comes for free
This haunted house, your favourite clothes
Forgotten places no one knows
City streets and county roads
Each truth that floats downstream
With flaws in our beliefs
It’s all in what we grieve
Now if this sunlight flickers
Will we be guided by the sparks?
Another memory triggered
We’re always stumbling in the dark
Reflecting as the day begins
There’s nothing much of consequence
Looking back on where we’ve been
It keeps us well-preserved
With honest fears that get pushed down
All rising to the surface now
Caustic views once disavowed
Have finally been unearthed
Compounding what still hurts
But how much is it worth?
Crossing The Valley
You speak like somebody that I knew long ago
But something’s different with your latest disguise
We’ve watched it taking over everyone in this town
From a past mostly built upon lies
I remember your voice and it still sounds the same
Except the words you’ve tried to choke down your throat
Never truly buried in the way you might want them
Every fairy tale gone up in smoke
Now can you help me in my darkest days?
We’ve fallen silent and don’t know what to say
Crossing the valley through the strangest of ways
So blink if you understand
Blink if you understand…
Looking like a puzzle with the pieces intact
But every image isn’t quite what it seems
My recall might be hazy for the roles that we played
In a history mostly built on deceit
It creeps like a shadow where each nightmare still roams
Plainly waiting in a place you can find
Invoked so insecurely from the myths we hold dear
No one ever stops to question why
Now can you help me in my darkest days?
We’ve fallen silent and don’t know what to say
Crossing the valley through the strangest of ways
So blink if you understand
Our stars are fading in the promised land
Follow my lead, take a walk through the weeds
Baby tell me what it is you see?
Our past can’t hold the answers if our memory shifts
But we’re so taken by the thought of it
Now can you help me in my darkest days?
We’ve fallen silent and don’t know what to say
Crossing the valley through the strangest of ways
So blink if you understand
Nothing’s sacred in the promised land
Communication Breaks
We’re always locked in conversation
Although you’re still so far away
I’ll try to put these broken pieces back
While repressing any shame
In lies that echo past the morning
When I’ve refused to face them down
It leaves me trapped in every phrase we’ve shared
Lost and stranded by the sound
I’m searching for escape
It’s only when I wake up
Communication breaks off
I’ll never sleep again, again…
It’s not the first of such illusions
Another promise I can’t keep
With every fractured word that lingers on
There’s a conflict that won’t leave
From countless stories in the distance
It comes apart with no surprise
But when the time returns for us to meet
I can’t look you in the eyes
I’m praying for escape
It’s only when I wake up
Communication breaks off
I’ll never sleep again, again
I’ll never sleep again
As I’m drowning in the waters of your haunting abuse
Through the air in your lungs comes this unspoken truth
So inspiring, it’s expiring
I don’t want you to leave but I can’t comprehend
Why you’d bother to stay after everyone’s left
Name redacted, lost in action
I’m longing for escape
It’s only when I wake up
Communication breaks off
I’ll never sleep again, again
I’m longing for escape
It’s only when I wake up
Communication breaks off
I’ll never sleep again, again
I’ll never sleep again
I’ll never sleep again
I’ll never sleep again, again
I’ll never sleep again
No Time To React
Claimed a natural disorder
From glass houses we throw stones
Well at least they’re all made bullet proof
Built to isolate alone
As division breeds this sickness
Moved across these quiet streets
Darkness hovers in the storm lit skies
Slowly landing at our feet
No one wants to say it, there’s nobody fighting back
We’ve been picking off our differences with no time to react
Trained and at the ready, each dispute to propagate
It’s far too late, it’s far too late…
We can feel it taking over
Spilling out to save ourselves
There’s no need for such destructiveness
But it suits us all so well
With these arguments to feed on
What’s the sense in our resolve?
Split apart to play the final chords
In this never ending song
No one wants to say it, there’s nobody fighting back
We’ve been picking off our differences with no time to react
Trained and at the ready, each dispute to propagate
It’s far too late, it’s far too late…
From incestuous opinions
Revolving doors we can’t escape
All returned for some intolerance
Born in fear to fuel this hate
Now we struggle with excuses
Lost to truths we’ll never face
We can’t be saved, we can’t be saved
Obscuring what lies forward, over shoulders we look back
Begging for some closure when there’s no time to react
Lined up at the ready, they all watch it propagate
It’s far too late, it’s far too late, it’s far too late…
Remember
Do you remember?
Every whisper in the dark
A child of December
Made to hold a frozen heart
When we hit the ground running
It was in the selfish songs we’d sing
They didn’t see it coming
And now I can’t see anything, anything
Blinded by the red sun as it disappeared again
Drifting in the night sky, waiting for the day to end
Do you remember?
Lying down beneath the stars
It all ended in September
With no reasons to disarm
By winter we were crawling
It was in the air that filled our lungs
They never heard us calling
And now we can’t hear anyone, anyone
Hiding in the cold night, praying for this storm to pass
Never looking back, bound by futures coming on too fast, too fast
Now I’m wondering if there’s anyone out there
I’ve been trying to resolve my beliefs
Struggling to redress all the wounds that you left
Only shrouded in uncertainty
It’s amazing that these walls are still standing
But I’m living with a ghost that won’t leave
Wasting every breath to repeat what you said
When you can’t remember anything
If I could see you again, if I could see you again
If I’d waited it out, would it have changed anything?
I’m not sure where to go, what I wanted to say
But I think we both know that you wouldn’t have stayed
You’re always running away, you’re always running away
You’re always running away again
Now I’m wondering if there’s anyone out there
I’ve been trying to absolve my beliefs
Struggling to redress all the wounds that I kept
Only shrouded in uncertainty
it’s amazing that these walls are still standing
When I’m living with a ghost that won’t leave
Wasting every breath to repeat what you said
But I still remember everything
Now I still remember everything
Heart In Your Hands
Broad are these shoulders but heavy the weight
Sit alone in my room where there ain’t nothing to trace
No paper trails Karen, it’s all such a waste
Now isn’t it?
Every intention gets lost in the dust
As these mountaintops crumble, watch my robot heart rust
With sterilized handshakes for people we’ve cussed
Now haven’t we?
Well haven’t we?
No one says anything
No one wants to say
No one says anything
No one wants to stay
Broad are these shoulders but heavy the weight
Sit alone in my room where there ain’t nothing to trace
No paper trails Karen, my heart’s just a waste
Now isn’t it?
Well isn’t it?
Now isn’t it?
Well isn’t it?
Laid on the lawn, interrupted again
Both stranded in orbit, I think it’s time that we land
No comet tails burning, with my heart in your hands
You’d wait for it
Now wait for it
You’d wait for it
Now wait for it
Sinking Feelings
Submerged by sinking feelings
Outside this frying pan
I can’t keep fighting wildfires
When every flame expands
I’ll keep my eyes and mouth shut
Make due as circus clown
I’m trying to walk a tightrope
One gust and I’ll fall down
It seems impossible, it seems impossible
It seems impossible, it seems impossible
It crawls below the surface
With facts you’ll never see
All meant to spread like cancer
Evolved while obsolete
If things start looking hazy
Head for the fire escape
Don’t wait on first responders
Right now they’re running late
It seems impossible, it seems impossible
It seems impossible, it seems impossible
It seems impossible, it seems impossible
It seems impossible, but it’s not no
Now it’s not
I’m boxed up six feet under
Where all the darkness swells
Woke up inside my coffin
Still trying to ring a bell
Submerged by sinking feelings
As every flame expands
I don’t know where I’m going
Come back and pull me in
Come back and pull me in
Come back and pull me in
Only In Our Minds
Shoreline, the shoreline keeps eroding
Now our future’s been imploding again
There’s no time, time is always fleeting
With each memory so discreetly possessed
I can’t find an answer, there’s nothing to admit
It isn’t what we wanted but the message gets dismissed
In sunshine, the other side of brilliance
Every shadow stays resilient for this
Counting down the years, lives become entwined
Worn and hollowed out, it’s only in our minds
Outline, the outline’s slowly forming
With no reason left adorning our shrines
It’s too late, too late for excuses
Now they’re only false intrusions to hide
Pick yourself a poison then send it down the hatch
This isn’t what we asked for but I’m tied down to the tracks
In red lights, caught between a mystery
We’ve been blinded as our victories collapse
Counting down the years, lives become entwined
Worn and hollowed out, it’s only in our minds
Wasting all our days, so many left behind
Nothing’s what I thought, it’s only in our minds
No lines, with no lines worth reciting
Won’t you show me what you’re hiding this time?
Counting down the years, lives become entwined
Worn and hollowed out, it’s only in our minds
Wasting all our days, so many left behind
Nothing’s what I thought, it’s only in our minds
It’s only in our minds, it’s only in our minds
It’s only in our minds…
It’s only in our minds…
Feral
Everyone turns feral in time
I’m fraying at the edges
Nothing’s ever simple in our minds
Apart from consequences
Desperate to remember your face
But now I feel so anxious
Struggling with the fact we can’t relate
Our arguments seem endless
We’re broken down people in these miserable times
So we claw at the dirt as our empathy dies
Everyone I know goes away
Obsessed with second guessing
Running to the places we can’t stay
As if we’ll find redemption
Carving out our thoughts to make sense
Outside the wind is blowing
No one else around would let it in
Forgotten lines keep folding
We’re broken down people in these miserable times
So we claw at the dirt as our empathy dies
But no one questions why
No one questions why
Black, white, shades of grey
Moonlight falls to chase the day
Black, white, shades of grey
Righteous thoughts become profane
Black, white, shades of grey
Memories form and then decay
Black, white, shades of grey
Silent fears can’t stay contained
We’re broken down people in these miserable times
So we claw at the dirt as our empathy dies
Last Remains
Communication’s cutting out
Our last remains and whereabouts
With voices that we’ve strained to hear
Transmitting through the atmosphere
It doesn’t seem to make much sense
So caught up in the present tense
We’re told who we should love and hate
But no one ever gets it straight
Pretty soon there’s nothing left
With fabled truths we still repress
It isn’t much at all, it isn’t much at all
As fires light these tortured skies
We sit around and wonder why
Left burning out beyond the smoke
In whispers that they never spoke
Polluting every star-filled night
We’re trapped beneath these satellites
While holding on to watch them turn
Forgetting what we never learn
Pretty soon there’s nothing left
With fabled truths we still repress
It isn’t much at all, it isn’t much at all
Gonna turn up underground, gonna turn up underground
As we filter out the sounds, now we filter out the sounds
Gonna turn up underground, gonna turn up underground
As we filter out the sounds, can we filter out the sounds?
They’re much too loud
They’re much too loud
Communication’s cutting out
Communication’s cutting out
Communication’s cutting out
Our last remains and whereabouts
It Won’t Always Be This Way
When I longed for isolation, this wasn’t what I meant
Closing my front door to any others
In the never ending static, that’s were I chose to leave
Retreating to the silence for some cover
Can we overcome this distance? Is it all a state of mind?
We’re never all alone in our defeat
Running to the window now to stare down any fear
Our love is not a secret we should keep
It won’t always be this way every day, every day
You won’t always have to cry by yourself to escape
Even though we can’t control it, there are those who still relate
It won’t always be this way, be this way…
I heard some wise men falter from the shadow of their doubts
Quick to claim that no one could’ve seen it
Set adrift in isolation, as rivers overflowed
The ignorant responded by all leaving
Can we overcome this crisis? Is it hopeless to resist?
When everyone believes that all is lost
Singing from our hearts to tear apart this empty sound
Our love is what will help us carry on
It won’t always be this way every day, every day
You won’t always have to cry by yourself to escape
Even though we can’t control it, there are those who still relate
It won’t always be this way, be this way…
Can we try to find some reason? Has it all gone up in flames?
We’re all struggling with connections to maintain
It won’t always be this way every day, every day
You won’t always have to cry by yourself to escape
Even though we’re bound by distance, in the end we’ll find our place
It won’t always be this way, be this way
It won’t always be this way, be this way
Laneways
Brainsick and dumbstruck, it’s getting away
Gotta find ourselves some gravity and make an escape
Maybe get some relief, always trying to relax
But once you step off the ledge there ain’t no going back
We’ve been waiting so long that we’re running on fumes
These remains of the day, they’re like secrets exhumed
We don’t know what we’re doing, no one ever admits
We’re all pushing and shoving just to try and exist
So don’t be shy, lock up and turn out all the lights
Down these laneways you might find there’s another path leading home
Grasping at meanings with addictions unclear
Every reason unsettled to be miserable here
Though when we stop moving on, there remains an excuse
To forget what’s been done and take in some abuse
It’s like all that we’ve worked for has faded away
With no memories to share, only debts to repay
In these burdens we’ve carried through our years unexplained
There’s nothing to show for what was never obtained
So don’t be shy, lock up and turn out all the lights
Down these laneways you might find there’s another path leading home
Now every time anyone’s thinking of you
They never remember the face they once knew
When nothing’s realized, it doesn’t matter much anymore
It didn’t make sense as we ran for the door
With everyone screaming, it was hard to ignore
In time they all sought to reject what was claimed
But we can’t turn around to rewrite our mistakes
So don’t be shy, lock up and turn out all the lights
Down these laneways you might find there’s another path leading home
Now don’t be scared, when underneath the lamp post’s glare
Down these laneways be aware there’s another path leading home
There’s another path leading home, there’s another path leading home
There’s another path leading home