For Those Left Behind
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Intended as a place for some leftovers from Hard Fought Defeat, these lyrics soon took on a life of their own.
Although I’d always planned to create a two part grouping, it didn’t quite go as expected. Originally, Hard Fought Defeat was called From Reactions To Reflections and this was supposed to be titled From Reflections To Reactions. The former would’ve been reactionary lyrics following my dad’s passing and this grouping would’ve been more meditative.
Even though that idea was scrapped, I still had several things that got cut from Hard Fought Defeat. As such, my new plan was to create a companion piece that would feature those lyrics. Some of them were among my favourites so I wanted them to be viewed on the same level. Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough lyrics to create a new grouping on its own. Because of this, more writing had to be done.
From there, it quickly became obvious that the new stuff was better than most of the leftovers. A new theme also emerged as I moved beyond the grieving process. Some lyrics still touched upon the aftermath of that situation, but inspiration started coming from other sources. A big refugee crisis began taking shape and those conversations influenced the direction this grouping took as well.
In the end, only three things from past projects made the cut: Respirator and North Star came from the Hard Fought Defeat writing sessions and Breeding was written during the Bloodhounds era. Instead of focusing on grieving, these lyrics are more about those who get left behind. It’s a subtle difference but opens things up since that doesn’t just refer to death. I mean, people get left behind for many reasons: Relationships, politics, racism, poverty, inequality, simple inattention, etc.
In my mind, this still serves as a companion piece to Hard Fought Defeat though. It works fine on its own, but you get a more complete picture having read both. For Those Left Behind was finished less than a year after the previous grouping so despite being an evolution, they still share some DNA. Looking at these now, I’d say my favourites are Back Of My Mind, Respirator, Living Photographs and Set This Down.
For those interested, the original version is available in the Fireteddy National Library. You can also check out what didn’t make the cut here.
Lyrics Content
03. Breeding
04. Back Of My Mind
05. Respirator
08. Morning Train
09. Set This Down
10. North Star
What’s Happening?
So many pills for me to take
Now I can’t even keep them straight
In blissful sleep, I’m wide awake
My padded cell to contemplate
Biting down, it terraforms
I’ve punch the walls and slammed the doors
With bloodshot eyes, so battle torn
When all is fair in love and war
All is fair in love and war
I’ve got some static in my head
I can’t remember what you said
Along with every heart that bled
Every heart that…
On and on, we’ll always sing
Deceptive songs for useless things
From dusk to dawn, through fall and spring
Now I can’t see what’s happening
I still can’t see what’s happening
Chase this down to spread the blame
Reborn to fight another day
You’re close enough to touch the flames
As friendly fire all fades away
While nothing matters much to you
Still Blind in love for this abuse
With steady hands, I’ll see it through
But now I can’t deny the truth
Now I can’t deny the truth
I’ve got some static in my head
I can’t remember what you said
Along with every heart that bled
Every heart that…
On and on, we’ll always sing
Deceptive songs for useless things
From dusk to dawn, through fall and spring
Now I can’t see what’s happening
I still can’t see what’s happening
Looking back to find our way
Reflecting on what can’t be saved
Some hearts enslaved to one that’s left behind
Searching hard for better days
They’ve been replaced to rest in wait
We’ll all depart and then get lost in time
We’ll all depart and then get lost in time
It’s All Relative
I was walking past your street, staring down at my feet
Wondering where the hell our future had gone
It was there until you left, so discreet in your theft
When no one else could see that something was wrong
I tried to play along for a little while
Tried to play along but we were out of style
So trapped in this denial, our focus stalled
Well I’ve got problems, we’ve all got problems
But it’s all relative, it’s all relative
I’ve got problems, we’ll never solve them
But it’s all relative, it’s all relative now
In the corners of my mind, they were all well-defined
So many issues that we couldn’t contain
With every passing regret, made discreet when you left
Now all these little worries seem so mundane
I thought you went insane but could comprehend
Thought you went insane although it still depends
So trapped inside this trend, our focus strays
Well I’ve got problems, we’ve all got problems
But it’s all relative, it’s all relative
I’ve got problems, we’ll never solve them
But it’s all relative, it’s all relative now
It’s like how I was obsessive with Karen
Now I barely think about her at all
I cannot remember when we last spoke
But somehow I think I’m better off
Somehow I think I’m better off
Well I’ve got problems, I’ve still got problems
But it’s all relative, it’s all relative
I’ve got problems, we’ve still got problems
But it’s all relative, it’s all relative now
Well it’s all relative, It’s all relative now
It’s all relative now
Breeding
Rewind, repeat, it stumbles through again
Find some solid ground to try and start where it all ends
Faulty wires get crossed, you know I’m really at a loss
To find a reason here that you might comprehend
Behaviours shown that I just can’t defend
When every failure seems to have a motive
Agendas that won’t shake off from the rest
What does it matter? What does it matter?
It’s breeding every vagueness to digest
Eject, move past, rewriting what’s been claimed
Try to get some footing from these months gone unexplained
Roads still intersect, I guess it’s easy to expect
When everybody here has secrets to maintain
Another little truth gone up in flames
It isn’t that I think this life looks better
But all these doubts keep crashing by in waves
What does it matter? What does it matter?
It’s breeding every sickness to convey
I can’t explain it
Although I’ve tried
As every mystery comes apart
We’ve fail to see both sides
Beneath this moonlight
From burning skies
When every star comes crashing down
We’ll meet our own demise
What does it matter? What does it matter?
It’s breeding every word to say goodbye
What does it matter? What does it matter?
With every little whisper to imply
It’s breeding every word to say goodbye
Back Of My Mind
I’ve tried to live in silent thought
But there’s no shelter made for this
When peace makes you the crazy one
Can we ever coexist?
Beyond what still divides us
There must lie a common thread
With clarity in worship lost
We’re all headed for shipwreck
Something screams in the back of my mind
It calls my name but isn’t defined
Somewhere now in the back of my mind it says…
If I can’t fight the ones I love
I’ll be fighting with myself
As conflict washes over me
Still contained in living hell
Where every word keeps scratching
Climbing walls inside my head
I’ve done my best to silence them
While regretting what I said
Something screams in the back of my mind
It calls my name but isn’t defined
Somewhere now in the back of my mind there’s dread
Give me a sign, give me a sign
Give me a sign once again
Give me a sign, give me a sign
Give me a sign you’re listenin’
Everybody knows, but they don’t wanna see
Now I don’t have a choice of what’s in front of me
Something screams in the back of my mind
It calls my name but isn’t defined
Something screams in the back of my mind
In the back of my mind, the back of my mind
Respirator
I can’t even hear your voice
Machines begin to fill the void
As noises break the spaces in between
Counting down but it’s not you
There’s only so much we could do
Now misconstrued with thoughts still left unseen
I’m trying to exist, trying harder to resist
But holding on to every sound, it pulls me under as I drown
Now pushing air into your lungs
Until the time has finally come
I can hear the respirator
I still hear the respirator
It takes me hostage in a place
In nightmares that I can’t erase
I can hear the respirator
I still hear the respirator keeping pace
Grasping at some shreds of hope
While trying hard to stay afloat
For lifeboats that don’t ever seem to come
Sitting in this crowded room
We knew that you’d be leaving soon
In bloom to vacate what’s so cumbersome
We’re trying to exist, trying harder we insist
But holding on to where we’ve been, it keeps us lost and powerless
Now pushing air into your lungs
Until the time has finally come
I can hear the respirator
I still hear the respirator
It takes me hostage in a place
In nightmares that I can’t erase
I can hear the respirator
I still hear the respirator keeping pace
Now I’ve found myself a new disorder
Although it isn’t what I want
Tired and shaken as I go through my withdrawals
Expelling memories that you haunt
We’re trying to exist, trying harder to resist
But holding on to every sound, it pulls us under as we drown
Now pushing air into your lungs
Until the time has finally come
I can hear the respirator
I still hear the respirator
It takes me hostage in a place
In nightmares that I can’t erase
I can hear the respirator
I still hear the respirator keeping pace
I still hear the respirator keeping pace
I still hear the respirator keeping pace
I still hear the respirator…
Living Photographs
Always speaking from a distance
I don’t wanna get too close
When the fire that’s in front of me
Keeps fuelling all these ghosts
Now we’re only living photographs
As we shine from coast to coast
I can’t say what hurts the most
No one knows what hurts the most
Coming through in foreign concepts
We can barely comprehend
You might call me an insomniac
But I guess it all depends
Now I’m taking living photographs
Writing letters left to send
Or at least I still pretend
Pre-deceased while on the mend
Our flashbulbs burn while we’re still here
So bathed in light for all these years
We’ll all come down and reappear
It’s only temporary
There has to be a monument for this
There has to be a space that we can’t miss
There has to be a monument for this
There has to be a monument for this
There has to be a space that we can’t miss
Why do we need a monument for this?
It’s only temporary
It’s only temporary
It’s only temporary
Beneath Your Skin
Keep these words, so absurd
In your mind to be observed
Come apart from the dark
Find some light left in your heart
On the brink, prone to drink
Fading faster than you think
Let it go before you know
You can’t discern your friends and foes
Count these lives remaining
Raise your head as it sinks in
I don’t know where we’re going
I’ve learnt to take it on the chin
These months of hibernating
The more you say, the less you win
It’s still a mystery right now
But now it lies beneath your skin
Where were you my dear?
Somewhere far away from here
Well you can save your bitter tears
Because I’ve found some better fears
I sure as hell won’t waste these years on where we’ve been
Settle in, count your sins
Show your scars and then begin
Life conceals what isn’t real
So don’t ignore what it reveals
Count these days remaining
Raise your head as it sinks in
I don’t know where we’re going
I’ve learnt to take it on the chin
These months of hibernating
The more you say, the less you win
It’s all a mystery right now
But now it lies beneath your skin
Now it lies beneath your skin
Now it lies beneath your skin
Morning Train
Waiting on memories to save and to send me
When I don’t even know all their names
To tell you the truth, I’ve been trying to get through
While still searching for someone to blame
Strewn across reason for what to believe in
As we try to appease our withdrawals
In time we’ll all find that we’re out of our minds
Winding up to accept and recall
I can hear the first morning train slowly leaving
Cutting through the fog as it glides through this town
In traction with terms that make us feel so uneasy
I’m wondering where you’ve been and when you’ll come back around
When will you come back down?
When will you come back down?
Wasting my nights on every wavering light
Though I hang on the stars to relate
With some seeming lost as they shoot straight across
Tangled up as we all meet our fate
Quietly fishing for something worth missing
It isn’t the end that we fear
All claiming in vain we’re not going insane
No one sees when they’ve all disappeared
I can hear the first morning train slowly leaving
Cutting through the fog as it glides through this town
In traction with terms that make us feel so uneasy
I’m wondering where you’ve been and when you’ll come back around
When will you come back down?
When will you come back down?
Both my wings burn in the sun
Something like Icarus, nothing but a hypocrite
While this life can’t be undone
Especially when we’re living it, never when we’re finished it
Never when we’re finished it
I’ve gotta get rid of this now
But when will you come back down?
When will you come back down?
When will you come back down?
When will you come back down?
Set This Down
You can find so many things
That’ll catch you by surprise
From the moment that you wake up
Wipe the sleep back from your eyes
Now they’ll pick a space to conquer
Cut you up and then divide
It’s so easy to condemn but
We weren’t raised on compromise
Always torn apart
For everything we feel
You can’t guard your heart
By twisting some ideals
You can waste so many nights
On hunting monsters still unclaimed
Taking every last precaution
When there’s no one else to blame
While we hold such wounds to foster
Cut them out to be maintained
Feeding into every horror
Never showing some restraint
Always torn apart
For everything we feel
You can’t guard your heart
By twisting some ideals
Now it won’t be long
Before we’re underground
We have the targets wrong
It’s time to set this down
So defined by hatred
Now it’s bred from something less
But we can’t contain our anger
When it’s all a fucking mess
Looking back to find some answers
Little truths we won’t confess
It’s fear that keeps us trapped in this unrest
You can find so many things
That’ll catch you by surprise
Gotta wake up to the truth now
Wipe the sleep back from your eyes
Well they’ll choose a place to conquer
Cut you up and then divide
We’re all turning into monsters
Never raised on compromise
Always torn apart
For everything we feel
You can’t guard your heart
By twisting some ideals
Now it won’t be long
Before we’re underground
We have the targets wrong
It’s time to set this down
It’s time to set this down now
It’s time to set this down
North Star
Sleep is so compelling
This life is overwhelming
Now I can’t even stay awake
Without thinking of you
Keeping up traditions
Some ghosts of superstition
They Echo through the hallways but
It’s all that I can do
So turn off all the lights, let this fire burn bright
Our memories aren’t extinguished now, they’ll shine throughout the night
With roles to be adorned, as new traditions form
I’m sure that you’re still watching out to see us through this storm
Don’t know where I’m going
So as the wind starts blowing
I’m looking for our north star now
To safely guide us home
While we’ve found subtraction
Through loss of interaction
From words that once were spoken down
I know we’re not alone
So turn off all the lights, let this fire burn bright
Our memories aren’t extinguished now, they’ll shine throughout the night
With roles to be adorned, as new traditions form
I’m sure that you’re still watching out to see us through this storm
I don’t have to burn a single photograph
To make a wish come true, well now that I have you
Lighting up the skies, the tears in all our eyes
I know that it defies all sense of logic
As we finally come alive
So turn off all the lights, let this fire burn bright
Our memories aren’t extinguished now, they’ll shine throughout the night
With roles to be adorned, as new traditions form
I’m sure that you’re still watching out to see us through this storm
I’m sure that you’re still watching out to see us through this storm
I know you’re always watching out to see us through the storm